Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
