Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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