i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
