Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm just crazy horny about you
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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