that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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