Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I need water and some morals
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
