I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
