Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize