I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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