Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
