those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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