you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
