If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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