Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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