Don't make out with my wife yet
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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