He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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