It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
