margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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