So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
