What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
