woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
