So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
