Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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