I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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