I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
