I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
