dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
