Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
