i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
