So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
