the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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