the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
