Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry š¬
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
At least Iām an āessential employeeā and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesnāt ask why Iām essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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