I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
