no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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