marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
