didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
