and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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