dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
