ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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