Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
