Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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