There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize