No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
