Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
