She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
