Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
