I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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