my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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