Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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