Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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