I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
