I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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