Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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