As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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