So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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