I wish I only lived at night.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
