she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
